For the sake of transparency, I want everyone to know that I’m writing this prior to National Coming Out Day (which is on Sunday, October 11). This will inevitably be posted shortly after National Coming Out Day, so I will be writing about it mostly in the past tense.
For those who don’t know, National Coming Out Day originated in 1988 to encourage people to be open and proud of their sexualities and gender identities. The rationale behind this was that having numerous LGBTQIA+ people come out in theory would make their loved ones realize that people they have loved all this time are part of a marginalized groups and give them a greater incentive to be supportive of their lives and rights. With that said, it must be acknowledged that even today, many people cannot come out to the people around them without compromising their safety. I would be as bold to suggest that this year has been especially difficult for many people as we are in the midst of a global pandemic. I would imagine that many have actually had to “return to the closet”, so to speak. Some of our peers may have enjoyed a certain amount of freedom expressing themselves on campus, but had to return to live with family where they cannot be out. What did Sunday really mean then? Was it simply a day of celebration for some, but for others a day of mourning for what could have been? There is also the consideration of the fact that one never comes out just once. Throughout life, we come out to the new people we meet if we choose to and that stacks up after a few decades. One may also come out to some loved ones and never to the others. This perhaps suggests that National Coming Out Day could have many meanings as “coming out” certainly does. It could be a goal, a dream, a process, or a reminder of an achievement. Whatever Sunday meant to you, I want to remind those who are “in the closet” for whatever reason that both you and your identity/identities are valid and that you are loved more than you may know. Personally, I know that it can take time to safely be or even become who you truly are. There is no expiration date and it will never be too late, but if you have the option to safely leave behind people who don’t respect and accept you, I would consider taking it. If not, be gentle to yourself and do what you can to discretely celebrate who you are. This can be in the colors you wear, the music you listen to, or the books you read for your “homework”. Even if you are in a space where you can come out, you may not want to and that is also valid, as coming out is your choice and yours alone. Anyone who violates your trust and outs you without permission, no matter their intentions, is no friend of yours. Lastly, though not everyone views the day the same way, those who do choose to come out on October 11 deserve support as well, as it is no small task, especially if they chose to do it this year. This is just another special day in which the community must take care of each other and try to make a better future for all. If you or someone you love need help during this time, I’m going to provide a few resources below for you to contact and, as always, I wish you all the best. - Bek TrevorLifeline: 1-866-488-7386 Trans Lifeline: 877-565-8860 OMA Resources for Trans Students: https://www.seattleu.edu/oma/student-success-resources/resources-for-trans-students/community-resources/ List of Puget Sound Regional LGBTQ Resources: https://guides.lib.uw.edu/uwbcc-lgbtq-resources/puget-sound-regional-resources
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January 2024
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