For as long as I can remember, writing has been an emotional outlet for me. As someone who struggles to verbally express their emotions, mostly in the moment, writing allows me to sit in my feelings, analyze them, and meticulously craft how I want them to be expressed. I can lay myself bare. I can throw everything I’m feeling onto a fictional character and have them react in the way I can only dream of reacting. It is the most liberating feeling in the world. However, sometimes, that feeling of liberation can feel a bit trampled if your vulnerability is coming out in a piece of writing that will be viewed by an audience.
As a writer, I write my best when I pull from my personal experiences and emotions. That means I always have a strong attachment to my writing. Some pieces are more vulnerable than others, but no matter what, I see myself in all of it. Because of how vulnerable I allow myself to be when I’m writing, even when it’s something like an assignment that will be read by an outside audience, constructive criticism and feedback can be hard to take. In no way do I think that I know absolutely everything when it comes to writing but having an outsider critique something that comes from deep within you can be hard to swallow. So many times have I felt like a weight has been lifted off of me because of what I write, only to have doubt come crashing in when someone gives me feedback about what I can do to “fix” it. I am currently taking a creative writing class where we write adaptations based off of art (e.g. paintings, photographs, music video, etc.) The three pieces I picked to adapt (The Nightmare by Henry Fuseli, Office in a Small City by Edward Hopper, and The Lovers by René Magritte) were all pieces that I felt I could use to replicate a moment or feeling with and make a story out of. I wrote about my personal trauma that has stemmed from relationships, the fear of losing my dreams and aspirations in order to survive financially, and the insecurities and vulnerabilities I’m faced with while dating my current partner. All my pieces have explored deeply intimate parts of myself, and I greatly appreciate having the opportunity to express those feelings. The part I don’t appreciate so much is having to share these pieces and receive feedback from my classmates. As much as I hate the feedback stage of writing, I have come to accept it and I think that is the important part. I don’t hate it because I don’t think the feedback is useful or I believe that I don’t have room to learn; I just dread having feedback made on something that is so personal to me. But that’s the point of creative work: being vulnerable. There is one thing I always tell myself when it comes to sharing my writing: you do not have to love sharing your writing and you don’t have to agree or use the feedback you receive, but you should at least hear it out. About 99.9999% of the time, feedback doesn’t come from a malicious place. People are just trying to help you grow as a writer and you always have room to grow. Feedback and criticism are just part of being a writer, but you decide how it affects you.
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January 2024
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